President of Dork Club: What I learned from organising my first gig

Essence of Dork Club

It all began from a list of incredibly silly creative ideas.

“Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a nightclub full people dressed in socks and thongs, dancing to Weird Al Yankovich?” I blurted out on Facebook.

“LOL,” said my friends politely.

I repeated the same idea to Bel, the music manager at The Basement 243.

“That’s an awesome idea!” she said. “How about October 1st?”

“Yeah sure. Wait, what?”

And suddenly I was organising my very first gig. I had my doubts. The last party I threw, my 21st, ended in tears because half of the party attendees were on a variety of unpleasant drugs and scaring the shit out of everyone in a nice South Bank cocktail bar. I remedied the situation by leaving them to roll around on the ground and run around the Parklands screaming, but I haven’t thrown a party since.

After months of stress, dodgy poster designs and a billion e-mails, Dork Club had an awesome turnout – about 100 people. It was much better than what I expected (ie. five of my good friends showing up and awkwardly leaving after ten minutes).

If you put on a Dork Club, they will come.

I learned a lot of things about event management from this little gig. I’d like to share them with you:

• When all else fails, ask your friends to play music. Mind you, I have friends who happen to be excellent musicians, which certainly helps. I felt like a cop out at first but now that I think about it, a lot of other promoters I know do the same thing. Friendship is a good way to get things organised without all the pressure of being awkward around cool musos you don’t know.

• Social media is a godsend for the budget-conscious promoter. It’s especially effective when your target market is people who love using the interwebs. And never underestimate the power of word of mouth.

• Put your posters up in areas where there are other posters. Many of the ones I put up at traffic light crossings were taken down, but the ones with other posters stayed up. I remember a time when the Valley was wallpapered with posters. Alas, the Fun Police prefer fresh paint and blank walls.  Think about it – someone out there has a job involving tearing down posters. “Information about an upcoming fun event? NOT ON MY WATCH.”

• The whole thing is WAY more work than you’d think, so don’t do it all by yourself. I could’ve done with a few extra hands on board but wanted to be Super Modern Independent Woman Who Can Do it All. I ended up yelling obscenities at my computer and dying of exhaustion most of the time.

• If you’re in south-east Queensland, I strongly suggest getting involved with 4ZZZ if you do anything in entertainment or arts. They helped me a lot with advertising and gave me some volunteers to be there on the night. Plus, heaps of announcers and volunteers came to party themselves. The 4ZZZ family is so supportive and full of the most wonderful people ever.

• I didn’t spam anybody’s Facebook inbox or harass anyone to attend. Take note, crazypants event and venue managers who have successfully turned me off attending their events with their insane messages every day leading up to it.  (“My event is on Friday. FRIDAY. THIS FRIDAY. It’s at 8 o’clock and if you are not on time I WILL STAB YOU. Are you coming??!!!! I don’t care if you think it’s fun or not because all the proceeds go to some kinda charity thing and support the music scene! DO YOU WANT TO MAKE ALL THE STARVING  CHILDREN/MUSICIANS CRY?! WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?! If you don’t come I’ll send you endless passive aggressive messages afterwards. THAT WILL SHOW YOU WHAT A HORRIBLE PERSON YOU ARE.”) Put it out there and keep people informed, but don’t get up in their grill.

• Don’t be put off by people making rude comments on your event page. Focus your energies on the people who ARE attending. Those guys are awesome!

• Don’t get too upset when people you don’t like show up. Just smile politely, go talk to your friends, and laugh evilly because they basically just gave you their money.

• Pay your entertainment. I’m surprised that some of the Dork Club entertainers were surprised to get paid at all. What are you doing, other promoters?! Anyway, musicians like getting paid. Every dollar goes towards all those important musician expenses, like funky guitar effects pedals and cool haircuts.

• Be open-minded and never think that any idea might be too silly, because it might turn out to be awesome. The bartenders on the night decided, on a whim, to make $7 flirtinis which went down a treat with Mighty Boosh fans and anyone who likes tasty, cheap alcohol (ie. everyone). An attendee arrived wearing a homemade helmet made of glitter, which was excitedly passed around the club. Dorks gleefully fought over violent games of Hungry Hungry Hippos. I sold loads of raffle tickets for a Dork Club prize pack consisting of a dodgy sci-fi novel, Mad Magazine from 1993, a Bart Simpson figurine and a container in the shape of a hamburger. Danny from The Watermelons danced with the crowd wearing a rubber mask during one of their songs. He asked for permission beforehand. Why would I say no?

The chorus to this tune went "You've got a horrible, horrible, scarred face!"

I was pretty chuffed with my efforts. Nothing went horribly wrong, everyone had a good time and I even made a bit of money. Most importantly, I proved to myself that my organisational skills aren’t as bad as I thought and that I can throw a damn good party. Hope you can all make it to Dork Club #2!

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