Jolly Good: Black Books, “Kafka on the Shore”, Wine, Club 299 and Graduating
Upon reading my last few blog entries, I realised people might be under the impression that I’m a bitter, cynical old witch who sees little joy in the world.
Well that may be, but there are still some things out there that bring a ray of sunshine to my withered, blackened old heart.
(I also can’t be arsed writing about the highlights of the last decade like everybody else is.)
Dear Australian Government, re: Internet filter
(Yes, I know this is an Apple ad, but it turned out to be weirdly relevant anyway)
Dear Australian Government,
I’m scared. And a bit pissed off.
See, when I was in high school I studied a book called 1984. It is about a dystopian future where humankind has virtually no free will. The government controls world events, the news and knowledge itself. Any dissenters are simply removed from society.
2 + 2 = 5. And with a complete eradication of information saying otherwise, society simply believes this without advancing any further.
Things I have learnt from my disgusting, immature housemate
Last week, Josh and I cleaned our kitchen. No easy task. But we got there in the end, and the kitchen was nice and sparkly and clean for a change.
The next day, my housemate used his George Foreman grill thing to cook sausages. It has a drip tray for all the excess fat and lard.
Said lard leaked all over the kitchen bench. Yes, the same kitchen bench I scrubbed clean the day before.
Said housemate did not clean said lard for a week.
It’s just as well the Housemate wasn’t home when I discovered this or I probably would have used the George Foreman grill on his face. I declared to Josh that either he goes, we both go or I go. Josh, being the nice boy he is, has always defended Housemate’s behavior but even he decided that enough was enough.
You may know of Housemate if you follow me on Twitter. He’s the one I’m referring to when I threaten to commit “housemateicide”.
Housemate has a bedroom, but due to his TV addiction and the fact that rubbish covers every inch of his room, he sleeps on a lounge in the loungeroom. Housemate actually had the audacity to make our friend visiting from out of town to sleep on a mattress in the kitchen. You know, instead of letting him sleep in the bed he doesn’t sleep in.
We have lived in this house for nearly a year and my housemate’s behavior, despite frequent and DAMN OBVIOUS (ie. “Clean up!”) hints to get his shit together, has not changed.
It’s not all bad. If anything, having a couch-dwelling 38-year-old manchild in the house has inspired me.
Inspired me to do everything I can to NOT end up like him as an adult.
I have learnt a lot from Housemate and would like to share my learnings with you.
Ellie’s “Cheer Up” Tip #23748: Japanese Game Shows
It may be the “silly season”, but this time of year doesn’t seem to be much fun for everyone at all. I’m not the only one who is suddenly unemployed, as it seems (hi there, potential employers!). Anyone who is employed is bearing the brunt of end of year shopping madness. And a lot of people including myself have caught the dreaded summer flu. Because you know what’s more fun than a heat wave? Feeling lethargic and having a fever as well. It’s like having two Brisbane summers at the same time!
But instead of endlessly bitching about my problems, I thought I’d cheer both myself and everybody else up with something that always makes me happy.
Something that always puts a smile on my face.
Something that makes me love humanity again.
Something that makes me feel like everything is all right with the world.
And something that makes me proud to be Asian.
Japanese Game Shows.
The Japanese have the pop culture game down pat. Their horror movies are scarier. Their cute things are cuter. Their video games are more awesome. Their porn is… weird and occasionally horrifying. And their game shows are FREAKIN’ SUGOI!*
Here are some of my favourites that always cheer me up when I feel down.
Goodbye Ric’s: Vodka, Dancing and Bar Wenching
Saturday 21 November was my last night working at Ric’s Bar. It was the last Saturday night before the new owners took over.
They did not give my job back.
It wasn’t just a matter of losing a job. I’m sure I’ll find another one soon enough. It was about the death of my favourite bar. I was never a regular, but there’ll always be a special place in my heart for one of the first bars I ever drank at, the vodka-fuelled shenanigans and the great time I had working there.
The Worst Christmas Ever
Screaming children bashing their parents with oversized candy canes. Singing plastic Santa Clauses. Really cheesy cards that only someone with a brain consisting of grey mush would find any amusement in. Hell on earth for retail and hospitality workers.
Yay! It’s Christmas!
“Can we just skip Christmas this year?” whispered Josh, as we walked around Westfield getting assaulted by extravagant tinsel sculptures.
Of course, there’s more to Christmas than presents and plastic reindeer. Christmas is about family. And food. And drinking. And celebrating Santa’s birth in a manger or something. But mainly family. And that’s the nice thing about Christmas that any average secular Australian can appreciate, right?
But The Worst Christmas Ever ™ a few years ago had too much family.
Since then, my parents have taken all sorts of measures to prevent it ever happening again. This involves pissing off on holiday or making the Christmas affair very, very secretive so the horrible relatives we endured never return to our house.
So what was so bad about this particular Christmas? Well, it involved screaming children, near-drowning and epic vomiting.
The Internet is for Angry
One of my many guilty pleasures is trawling through the internet – usually humour or “snark” blogs – and finding crazy people to laugh at.
Now when I say “crazy”, I don’t mean mentally ill. I mean people who, when confronted by the global community of cyberspace with a keyboard in hand, go from zero to frothing rage in five seconds over absolutely anything.
And boy, is it ever hilarious to watch.
It’s the Final Countdown!
It’s the fiiiiiiinal countdown!
I had this song in my head this morning. Not only does it make me think of Gob from Arrested Development astounding audiences with his magic tricks…er, I mean illusions… but it was an appropriate soundtrack for the day.
This afternoon I had my last exam at uni.
Ever.
Yellow Devil talks about Blackface: Just not funny
Unless you’re lucky enough to have no exposure to the media at all, you’ve probably heard about the whole Hey Hey it’s Saturday “blackface” controversy.
My opinion is the same as any sensible member of the public: it was completely tasteless and shouldn’t have been put on TV.
I’m mainly insulted by the fact that these jokers actually planned this, thought this through, decided it was funny and would not offend anyone at all. And that the Hey Hey crew thought the same. WTF?!
“But it was just a joke! Lighten up, get a sense of humour! Bloody Yanks, ruining everything!” some people are saying.
Yeah, sure, it was intended to be joke. But it wasn’t funny. It was about as clever and witty as making fun of Paris Hilton for being a blonde bimbo.
And to me, it’s like as if a non-Asian popped up on TV with fake slanty eyes, buck teeth and wore a pointy farmer hat and screeched stupid things like “ME SO SOLLY” to get a few laughs – just like Krusty there.
Offensive and really, really lame.
In case you weren’t aware, I’m Korean. I’m adopted, grew up as an Aussie and speak some pretty damn fine English thankyou very much, but my looks are obviously of the Asian persuasion. Racism and other related idiocy is something I’ve unfortunately had to deal with my whole life.
Now I’m no over-sensitive bleeding heart sort when it comes to race. I’m a fan of a good race joke. But there’s a way to do it without being racist.
Yarr!
music in my head (last.fm)
