Busy doing Nothing: On being Unemployed

I found a great blog post called Cult of the Busy via Rachel Hills and Tiara the Merch Girl’s blogs. This post is aimed at people with disabilities, but the point I took from it was people judge their self-worth on occupations or roles.

Which sucks when you’re unemployed.

…And then things get internalized. “I don’t have a job. I’m not contributing. I’m not important. I better make myself small and inoffensive in some way so that no one thinks I’m a burden. I don’t really have a lot of worth as a person because I’m not contributing.”

After a month of unemployment, graduating with no job prospects and having only ambiguous employment at the moment, I sure can relate.

Remember back when Ric’s changed ownership and I was out of a job? What I didn’t tell you about was the crappy, crappy aftermath.

See, I had this grand plan in mind – to happily keep working at Ric’s for rent/food/beer money while pursuing freelance writing on the side. But I didn’t count on the whole Ric’s drama completely ruining my plans just as I graduated from uni.

An Actual Asian Female says things about Australia Day

My name is Ellie Freeman. You drank my beer. Prepare to die.

Hello, annyeonghaseyo and G’DAY MAAAAATE.

My name is Ellie. I was born in Korea, aka ASIA LAND.

I know how to use chopsticks. I am occasionally a dodgy driver and only have an automatic license. I love video games, especially the cutesy Nintendo variety. Everyone says I look like [insert name of Asian celebrity here], especially Keiko Agena (Lane from Gilmore Girls). I’m a sucker for novelty tech stuff. I can do medium on Dance Dance Revolution. I have a Hello Kitty handbag. I love cheap, kitschy crap – Life Factory in the Valley provides one with everything they need in, um, life. I could live off sushi. I own a rice cooker. I’m a black belt in taekwondo (though I haven’t trained for ages). I love Bubble Tea. I have dressed up as a ninja (see above) or some variety of murderous, plastic-katana-wielding geisha girl/schoolgirl on Halloween or other fancy dress events.

My name is Ellie. I grew up in Australia.

I know how to use chopsticks because my white Aussie ex-boyfriend – who lived in Taiwan for a while – taught me. My dad is a truckie who wears singlets and thongs and calls everybody “mate”. I don’t speak any languages other than English and have a broad Australian accent when I’m not in polite company. I work in pubs and know how to pull a beer. I drive a Holden. I love music festivals and am regretting that I didn’t go to Big Day Out this year (though I am off to Soundwave, which is just as good if not better). I love barbecues and beer. About 90% of my friends are white Aussies, including my boyfriend. It’s not intentional, it just happened that way. Some of them are bogans (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). I enjoy a good politically-incorrect joke, provided it’s actually funny. Especially racist ones. I rearry rearry rike ‘em.

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from being born in Korea but raised as an Aussie, it’s that where you’re from doesn’t define the person you are. I’m too Asian to be considered Australian, yet too Australian to be considered Asian. Does it matter? I don’t think so. Anyway, I’d like to think there’s more interesting things about me other than where I’m from and a jolly good game of “Match the Ethnic Stereotypes”.

So to me, Australia Day is just a good excuse to drink copious amounts of beer, eat copious amounts of barbecue and listen to the Hottest 100 with my friends. I’m well aware of the other issues surrounding Australia Day. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I would just personally rather spend the day enjoying myself than not. And it’s not like there are no other days in the year to do something about addressing those issues.

But that’s just me. Do whatever you want. Drink seven cartons of beer. Put your hand over your heart and sing the national anthem and forget the second verse (“Beneath our radiant Southern Cross, we… um…mmrrr mrr mrrr mmmrrr mrrr”). Wear the Australian flag as a cape, toga or oversized-hanky hat. Protest something. Eat so many lamb chops that Sam Kekovitch thinks you’re overdoing it a bit. Have some Vegemite (or iSnack 2.0) on toast. Complain about the heat. Acquire some pool-related injuries. Bitch about how all your favourite songs are at the 70-90 mark in the Hottest 100 again. Or don’t do anything at all.

Just play nice.

What not to Tweet about

Mention of the word “Twitter” and I guarantee you that someone within earshot will launch into a frothing, spitting rage. Part of people’s rage comes from the fact that so many people using Twitter are doing it wrong. You don’t have to look far to find a blog post written by a social media expert/entrepreneur/the Elders of the Internet on the rules of Twitter. I mean, let’s face it – a bad tweet is a waste of at least 30 seconds of your life that you will never get back.

As I am a Gen Y yuppie inner-city hipster nerd social networker and therefore know everything about the internet, here is my personal list on things not to Twitter about:

Ellie’s Northern NSW Tour + New Years Resolutions

I recently came back from a road trip through northern New South Wales to my friend Ash’s place at Lismore.

This holiday gave me a chance to chill out and feel a bit better about life, the universe, everything, etc.

Jolly Good: Black Books, “Kafka on the Shore”, Wine, Club 299 and Graduating

Upon reading my last few blog entries, I realised people might be under the impression that I’m a bitter, cynical old witch who sees little joy in the world.

Well that may be, but there are still some things out there that bring a ray of sunshine to my withered, blackened old heart.

(I also can’t be arsed writing about the highlights of the last decade like everybody else is.)

Dear Australian Government, re: Internet filter

(Yes, I know this is an Apple ad, but it turned out to be weirdly relevant anyway)

Dear Australian Government,

I’m scared. And a bit pissed off.

See, when I was in high school I studied a book called 1984. It is about a dystopian future where humankind has virtually no free will. The government controls world events, the news and knowledge itself. Any dissenters are simply removed from society.

2 + 2 = 5. And with a complete eradication of information saying otherwise, society simply believes this without advancing any further.

Things I have learnt from my disgusting, immature housemate

Last week, Josh and I cleaned our kitchen. No easy task. But we got there in the end, and the kitchen was nice and sparkly and clean for a change.

The next day, my housemate used his George Foreman grill thing to cook sausages. It has a drip tray for all the excess fat and lard.

Said lard leaked all over the kitchen bench. Yes, the same kitchen bench I scrubbed clean the day before.

Said housemate did not clean said lard for a week.

It’s just as well the Housemate wasn’t home when I discovered this or I probably would have used the George Foreman grill on his face. I declared to Josh that either he goes, we both go or I go. Josh, being the nice boy he is, has always defended Housemate’s behavior but even he decided that enough was enough.

You may know of Housemate if you follow me on Twitter. He’s the one I’m referring to when I threaten to commit “housemateicide”.

Housemate has a bedroom, but due to his TV addiction and the fact that rubbish covers every inch of his room, he sleeps on a lounge in the loungeroom. Housemate actually had the audacity to make our friend visiting from out of town to sleep on a mattress in the kitchen. You know, instead of letting him sleep in the bed he doesn’t sleep in.

We have lived in this house for nearly a year and my housemate’s behavior, despite frequent and DAMN OBVIOUS (ie. “Clean up!”) hints to get his shit together, has not changed.

It’s not all bad. If anything, having a couch-dwelling 38-year-old manchild in the house has inspired me.

Inspired me to do everything I can to NOT end up like him as an adult.

I have learnt a lot from Housemate and would like to share my learnings with you.

Ellie’s “Cheer Up” Tip #23748: Japanese Game Shows

It may be the “silly season”, but this time of year doesn’t seem to be much fun for everyone at all. I’m not the only one who is suddenly unemployed, as it seems (hi there, potential employers!). Anyone who is employed is bearing the brunt of end of year shopping madness. And a lot of people including myself have caught the dreaded summer flu. Because you know what’s more fun than a heat wave? Feeling lethargic and having a fever as well. It’s like having two Brisbane summers at the same time!

But instead of endlessly bitching about my problems, I thought I’d cheer both myself and everybody else up with something that always makes me happy.

Something that always puts a smile on my face.
Something that makes me love humanity again.
Something that makes me feel like everything is all right with the world.

And something that makes me proud to be Asian.

Japanese Game Shows.

The Japanese have the pop culture game down pat. Their horror movies are scarier. Their cute things are cuter. Their video games are more awesome. Their porn is… weird and occasionally horrifying. And their game shows are FREAKIN’ SUGOI!*

Here are some of my favourites that always cheer me up when I feel down.

Goodbye Ric’s: Vodka, Dancing and Bar Wenching

Saturday 21 November was my last night working at Ric’s Bar. It was the last Saturday night before the new owners took over.

They did not give my job back.

It wasn’t just a matter of losing a job. I’m sure I’ll find another one soon enough. It was about the death of my favourite bar. I was never a regular, but there’ll always be a special place in my heart for one of the first bars I ever drank at, the vodka-fuelled shenanigans and the great time I had working there.

The Worst Christmas Ever

Screaming children bashing their parents with oversized candy canes. Singing plastic Santa Clauses. Really cheesy cards that only someone with a brain consisting of grey mush would find any amusement in. Hell on earth for retail and hospitality workers.

Yay! It’s Christmas!

“Can we just skip Christmas this year?” whispered Josh, as we walked around Westfield getting assaulted by extravagant tinsel sculptures.

Of course, there’s more to Christmas than presents and plastic reindeer. Christmas is about family. And food. And drinking. And celebrating Santa’s birth in a manger or something. But mainly family. And that’s the nice thing about Christmas that any average secular Australian can appreciate, right?

But The Worst Christmas Ever ™ a few years ago had too much family.

Since then, my parents have taken all sorts of measures to prevent it ever happening again. This involves pissing off on holiday or making the Christmas affair very, very secretive so the horrible relatives we endured never return to our house.

So what was so bad about this particular Christmas? Well, it involved screaming children, near-drowning and epic vomiting.